June 2010
“Dear Girls Above Me, “You can’t really hate on Cruella de Vil just because she wants a fab coat.” Thank God I have a pug…who has fleas…stay away.”
—Dear Girls Above Me
http://notalwaysright.com/
- Customer: “So how long will it take to receive my new debit card?”
- Me: “Five to seven days.”
- Customer: “How will I make sure no one uses my card?”
- Me: “Although there is no 100% fool proof way, you can start by writing ‘SEE ID’ on the back of the card so merchants can cross reference it with your ID for each transaction.”
- Customer: “Oh! I can’t do that, I do a lot of transactions online and they won’t be able to see my ID.”
- *long, awkward pause*
- Customer: “Never mind, just pretend I didn’t just say that.”
“Today, I found out that my boyfriend’s mom’s maiden name is McCool. With a last name like that, who would want to change it? MLIA”
—MyLifeIsAverage - Life is pretty normal today
http://notalwaysright.com/
- (I work at a store where we stuff animals for our guests. I am helping three sisters, one about 13, one 11, one 6, stuff there bears.)
- Me: “So, are you going to get clothes for your bear?”
- Youngest sister: “Maybe, I hope so!” *notices my name tag* “Hey! Your name is Emily. That’s my twin sisters name!”
- Me: “Oh, that’s great!”
- (Youngest sister leaves and I help the middle sister, than the oldest.)
- Middle sister: “Oh, your name is Emily, that’s my uh, sister’s twins name.”
- Me: “Yeah, she told me that. Where is her sister, I didn’t see her?”
- Oldest sister: “She didn’t tell you?!” *yelling* “Hey [youngest sister], where does your twin live?”
- Youngest sister: “In the mirrors!”
“Today, I realized that no matter how awesome it is that teachers at my school respond to their first names, teachers at my best friend’s school answer to Hitler, Castro, Napoleon and Mussolini. MLIA”
—MyLifeIsAverage - Life is pretty normal today
http://notalwaysright.com/
- (I am in a public park, riding my quad. A little girl comes up and asks for a ride. Since I’m not accustomed to giving strangers rides, I politely decline. A few minutes later, an angry woman storms up.)
- Woman: “Excuse me!”
- Me: “Uh, yes?”
- Woman: “Why won’t you give my daughter a ride?! You made her cry!”
- Me: “Well, I’m sorry about that.”
- Woman: “So you’ll give her a ride?”
- Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. I just don’t feel comfortable giving strangers rides.”
- Woman: “What terrible service! I am going to report you!”
- (I hear her on the phone with the police.)
- Woman: “Yes, this person refuses to give my daughter a ride on her quad. No, I don’t know her. What?! No, I am not on drugs!”
